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Phil Vs. Queerty: DING DING--ROUND TWO!

Folks, I do love Queerty, and I think its one of the most phenomenal LGBT blogs out there--with tons of dynamic content and very up-to-date news. That said, you probably know I'm not a fan of their skeptical gay-on-gay hate--especially when it comes to LGBT orgs.

I'm a supporter of the Dallas Principles, and I think that the LGBT orgs are not the ONLY way to go. I don't put all of my faith in them--that's why I blog. That's why I try to encourage others to get informed and get involved. However, I DO think they do a lot of good work: NGLTF, Lambda, GLAAD, GLSEN, PFLAG, GMHC, HRC, NCLR, Victory Fund, Equality Federation, Gill Foundation, Arcus... the list goes on. I think they ALL do great work!

I have a confession. I'm an HRC member. I'm a Lambda donor. I'm a PFLAG member, a GLSEN member, a GLAAD supporter... Full disclosure, I give a lot of time, money and energy to "Gay, inc." I consider it part of my tithe.

Queerty HATES the gay orgs... well except for the smallest ones. I agree that these small orgs need our attention MORE than the big orgs--especially in desperate economic times. I don't think that means we call for the TOPPLING of the big orgs. Christ almighty, talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

The Queerty readers take in these bitchy posts and then take the ball and run with it. Every time a Queerty editor posts on one of the LGBT organizations that everyone loves to hate, the readers begin the affirmation. (DRAMATIZATION--NOT REAL QUOTES!)
No. 1 - QueertyLVR 'Yeah, give it to them. I hate them too. I saw them at Pride and tried to set their volunteers' hair on fire, and they had me REMOVED! Can you believe it? Those fat cats just can't relate to the everyday gay man! I hate them so much that I give money to the American Family Association because they hate 'Gay, inc.' as much as I do!'

No. 2 - BrwnNosr4QrT '@QueertyLVR, I tried to do the same thing. You want to meet at the beer tent next year and lick one another's nipples while we get aroused talking about how much we hate everything about LambdaLegal?'

No. 3 - LAMBDASUX 'I hate HRC so much that I hate anything with an equal sign. I used to be a math teacher but I quit because Saxon Math is so pro 'GAY, INC!'

And so it goes, in that fashion, for pretty much ALL of the comments. Any challenge mounted to the gay hate is met with more hate.

No 432 - BrwnNosr4QrT 'Hey, @VoxOfDissent, what they hell are you doing on this site? If you don't hate NGLTF like the rest of us, then you must not really be gay! And I hate you too! If I ever find out where you live, I'm going to punt your dog to Peoria!'

It gets hard to read.

Recently, our conspicuously biased bloggers at Queerty decided to poll their readers about which gay organizations and charities they think that folks should be supporting.

The three winners were three great charities that I think that you should support as well: The Trevor Project is the leading suicide prevention group in the LGBT community and save lives EVERY DAY! Keshet is building bridges between Jewish faith communities and out LGBT Jews. And finally, the Gay Christian Network, or GCN, is a group that I also belong to and support the mission of wholeheartedly (my lack of religious affiliation aside).

However, the angry boys at Queerty showed their hand before I even read the article. They announced the finding of their poll in a big blog post where they featured the top three charities. The title is: "SHOCK: Your Favorite Gay Non-Profits Do Not Include HRC, GLAAD, or NGLTF"

Way to work the positive, Queerty.

After describing each of the top 3 charities, Queerty goes on to say this:
But what do we find most notable from the results?
The big Gay Inc. organizations — like the Human Rights Campaign, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and GLAAD — didn't receive anywhere close to the number of positive accolades bestowed upon smaller organizations. Rather, local groups focused on education and advocacy, as well as religious groups, scored the most glowing reviews. (Only one person felt inclined to bother reviewing HRC. Nobody talked about GLAAD.) It might have something to do with the project's methodology … or maybe these organizations just don't have the type of support in the community they think.
Nice one.

The comments--as one would guess--pretty much run along that same route. Everyone is in agreement! How nice! Ok, so that's the Queerty editors... our readers... some of our friends down at the coffee shop... YEP, THE WHOLE GAY COMMUNITY IS HERE! This must mean that absolutely NOBODY in the community has anything good to say about 'Gay, inc!' Which means they must not REALLY be gay! LET'S BURN DOWN THE BUILDING!

I have quoted on Queerty before... and regretted it. It did little good, and only served to fill up my inbox with "I HATE PHIL" mail. I don't really think I educated ANYONE over there. I think many of the people who regularly read and comment on Queerty posts are very like-minded people, and many don't seem to deal with dissent very well.

However, I could not let this pass. With all of the good that this Queerty project could have done, the tone set by the headline just pissed me off and reminded me why I ALMOST stopped reading Queerty to begin with. I commented.
HA! Like anyone who reads this site on the regular would vote for those organizations!!! Anyone who supports them stopped reading this site LONG ago because its so BIASED against almost EVERY organization. If Trevor Project got a little more money, publicity and influence, you can bet that the editors of this site would be BASHING Trevor project as hard as they hit the others.

Those left reading this site are the ones who LOVE LOVE LOVE to have their opinions validated all the time! Why step out of our comfort zone!

Sorry, Queerty and Queerty readers--I do love a lot of the content on this site, but its also ground zero for gay-on-gay internet hate! The good side is, they hate on the haters better than ANYONE else, and when Queerty is getting up in NOM's face, its fantastic... but the hate is JUST as hard for other gays working hard for us who don't have the carbon copy strategy and pre-approved agenda. Disagreements in policy become lashing out brawls of arguments, and the like-minded readers gleefully join in on the bashing!

I'm a member of HRC. I'm also a critic. I don't like everything they do, and they've dropped the ball on some important shit. That said, I've been there, I've met them, and they're human beings, young gay men and women who believe in the cause, who are working hard--very hard--for very little pay to try to make a difference. They're bright eyed, they're idealistic--they're not a bunch of fat old dudes sitting around in leather chairs getting hand-fed grapes by nubile young servants (which, ironically, is the fantasy of the Queerty editors, judging by their prominent posting of such young men... hmmm) who conspire about how they can dupe the gays next. Sorry to wreck your fantasy.

I appreciate what this site does well--call attention to those enemies that would rather see us die in the gas chambers than succeed in equality. That and show us really hot guys. However, I think its laughable that this site thinks they can run an unbiased poll about what the best LGBT charities are, with all of the "Gay inc." wailing and moaning they do.

Gay on gay hate sucks. It sucks when Perez does it, it sucks when John Aravosis does it, and it sucks when you do it. Sorry dudes. It just does. Maybe calling y'all out is my own gay-on-gay hate. Oh well. Someone needs to hold up a mirror, though.
Not my nicest words, but I felt they were justified.

Christopher Geidner of the fantastic LawDork blog (read it, or else!) knows how it can be. Back when LawDork started, Cheryl Jaques had JUST taken over for Elizabeth Birch as President of HRC, and decided to make his criticisms of Cheryl a focus on his blog.

"In my first iteration of my blog, I was one of the people very critical of Cheryl Jacques, who took over at the helm of HRC after Elizabeth Birch. But, I addressed my opposition in a way that led to people on the board wanting to talk with me about my concerns -- not wanting to come up with a way to go around me."

Geidner said that people began engaging him on his criticism and everyone began to become a little more educated--both Geidner and his readers.

"I think positive engagement -- saying why you think something is wrong and how you think it could be better -- is more productive than just saying, 'HRC sucks.'"

I also think a few different opinions would help. Here at Ameriqueer, our first ever Guest Post was by a fellow named Matt Mattingly, who disagreed with me on my Obama stance. That was not by accident. Matt's invitation was intentional--I wanted to welcome a wider spectrum of points of view here.

My beef with Queerty is NOT that some of the editors disagree with HRC and challenge them. Heck, I disagree with them and challenge them myself. My beef is that the narrative never changes, things are not presented accurately and with good faith. When HRC teamed up with Servicemembers United for the "Voices of Honor" tour to end Don't Ask Don't Tell, not only did Queerty hit them hard with this article, "Slammed for doing absolutely nothing, HRC goes on tour," Queerty also dragged in and called into question the legitimacy of Servicemembers United, an organization of discharged gay soldiers working tirelessly to end DADT.

About as fair and balanced as Fox News.

The narrative that these headlines weave is VERY misleading. If I were to read this train of titles as a story, and end with the 'goes on tour' one, I'd say that HRC is some evil, diabolical secret society of gay-traitors, plotting for ways to undermine our fight for Equality.

Seriously, folks.

Let's try being productive here. I don't advocate you stop reading Queerty, because their content is really dynamic, they are really easy to read, and its a great way to get informed. But please encourage the Queerty community to step outside of their comfort zones and consider points of view that don't mirror their own.

And Queerty--the jig is up. There isn't any subtlety--you have an AGENDA against our gay organizations. I know they're not perfect, but what would the foundation that you run look like? A MAJORITY of your posts that aren't criticizing others, focus on the beauty of young athletic white men. I love young athletic men, myself, but do you really think that if the Queerty editors were in the business of running 'Gay, inc.' they'd be any more inclusive than HRC is? Hell no. Would they muck things up less than HRC? Hell no. So, Queerty editors, you've made your point. We understand that Gay, inc is flawed, but you've put forth NO solutions to the problem. So, as Thumper said in Bambi,

"If you can't say something nice...

"shut the fuck up."

;-) Just kidding. Pease and love--STOP THE HATE!


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